Like many others, I thought I thrived on activity
Whether that is being physically busy at work or allowing my mind to race — jumping from topic to topic, connecting the strands of information into a pattern. For the most part, I am frequently on the go.
But recently I experienced a few quieter days, because of being on holiday and with more days off than usual. So there were moments of pause with nothing that felt particularly pressing to do.
Many people might jump for joy at such an opportunity to do nothing at all, but I observed something interesting in myself — I didn’t like it.
Not one bit.
Do you ever get uncomfortable when you have free time?
I asked myself why I felt such disquiet simply by having some free time. Why did I feel a rush to fill every spare moment? Why do I always seem to need to find something ‘constructive’ I should be doing?
It took a while to come up with a reasonable answer, which is simply that I had fallen out of the habit of being still, and so it felt uncomfortable. For many years I have juggled ongoing studies, work, everyday life, and a business or some other project — so of course, there was always lots that I had to do.
Like most people I also need to find time to shop, cook, eat, walk, go to yoga class, socialise (not a lot I’ll admit) and even meditate (though often only briefly) in amongst the long list of things I would ideally like to get done or written, researched or completed.
Nevertheless, the bit I had left out in amongst all my ‘busyness’ was the practice of simply being still.
It’s no wonder it felt odd when it happened.
Life is about balance
What I am now remembering is that it is just as important to be still as it is to be productive and that both elements are required to have a fulfilling life experience.
My personal moments of stillness now involve embracing completely unproductive (and perhaps even more importantly ‘unplugged’) activities such as enjoying a coffee (decaf now that I gave it up) or tea outside observing, even if only for 15 minutes, the activity of others (birds, people or whatever). Or doing nothing in particular, without automatically feeling I should be maximising the moment by simultaneously catching up on social media or checking my messages.
I had to learn to put down the phone!
The fact that neither social media updates nor my personal messages have ever historically turned out to be life-threatening allows me the peace to safely not check them on an hourly basis.
I’ve also rediscovered the art of reading for pleasure at home, and not just when on holiday — a very pleasant escape in contrast to restricting my reading time to textbooks and journals. Someday soon I may even dust off my easel and paintbrushes once more.
By simply permitting myself to be still and essentially unproductive I now find the perfect offset to any feelings I may have of overwhelm or pressure; because once I stop I have the opportunity to breathe deeply, centre myself, allow my mind to slow, and be reminded that there are things to get done and there are things that can wait.
Attempting to do it all at once is not a wise course of action.
These still moments have become times within which I can ask myself “what have you done for yourself today?”
A question for you…
So I ask you now — how often do you stop, unplug, and just be still each day? Do you give yourself permission to not fill all your time with doing something that you ‘should’? Or are you frequently feeling compelled to do something?
I place the lure of social media firmly in this category.
If not, then I’d like to gently encourage you to rediscover some balance in your life by embracing the wonderful art of being still each day and remember to breathe when you do.
